where you feel sad, but you dont quite no why your sad. I mean I have a feeling that its several things, but im feeling so overwhelmed. I kinda just wanna dissapear to an island where its just me and the ocean (minus the sun burn). Where all my worries would dissapear and i wouldnt have a care in the world. I would even settle for a week long slumber. im feeling run down, tired, exhausted, sad, confused, frustrated.
but most of all i feel like i tore my whole family apart. like its my fault.
i have this immense guilt, that makes me wanna scream but i dont want anyone to hear.
this guilt isnt even mine, but i feel it…and it is soffocating me from the inside out. its eating me alive and i have no way to let it out.
I feel like no matter what i do im hurting someone. and im just exhausted.
thats the last thing i wanted to do. But i feel hurt too. i basically got told hey your disowned and your not included for something someone else said to me. but hey im suppose to suck it up and not say a word! yup hey katie your not allowed to cry, your not allowed to have emotions, you just sit there and let people fuck you over, time and time again!
and if your going to yell at someone who hurt you why dont you go tell the person whos doing the most hurt!
no lets take it out on katie cus shes an easy target….
I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE!
SLIPPING SO FAR INTO DEPRESSION I CANT HANDLE IT ANYMORE.
I DONT WANNA GO DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN. I DONT WANNA DRINK THAT BOTTLE OF HOUSEHOLD CLEANER AGAIN.
I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME IT WILL BE ALRIGHT AGAIN.
YOUR THE BITCH YOU WHERE IN HIGH SCHOOL. YOU START THINGS AND BECOME THIS HUGE BITCH AND YOUR SO ASHAMED OF YOURSELF YOU CANT OWN UP TOO WHAT YOU DID, SO YOU SPREAD LIES AND THEN LET OTHER FIGHT YOUR BATTLES, THEN PLAY INNOCENT AS IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT HAS BEEN SAID! THE THING IS YOUR A COWARD…
BUT YOU CAN PULL ALL THE SHIT YOU WANT ON ME CALL ME A WHORE! CALL ME A SLUT! BUT BABY GIRL I HARDLY THINK SLEEPING WITH THREE GUYS IS BEING A WHORE!
AT LEAST I OWN UP TO MY IMPERFECTIONS! i DONT WALK AROUND PRETENDING TO BE A VIRGIN WHEN IM NOT! THAT ONLY GOES TO SHOW THAT YOUR ASHAMED OF WHO YOU REALLY ARE!
NOW LETS SEE YOUR WORLD WILL COME CRASHING DOWN BECAUSE YOU CANT BUILD A RELATIONSHIP ON A WEB OF LIES! YOUR A LIAR A FAKE! YOUR FUCKING DISGUSTING!
AND YOUR TRUE COLORS WILL SHINE THROUGH….
i LOVE HOW IN THE END I WAS STILL NOTHING BUT NICE TOO YOU, BUT YOU PUSHED A FEW PEOPLE TO FAR AND IM PRETTY SURE THAT IF A FEW OF THEM SEE YOU ON THE STREETS YOU WONT BE IN EXISTENCE ANYMORE. <3
Wtf I’m sorry that u guys are feeling sad and down but dont take it out on me Cus I built a bridge and got over my problems. Is it a crime for Katie to finally be happy with herself and to have a good day?!?!? I asked if u where ok and tried to lighten the moment a instead u hop down my throat and basically say ur mad Cus I’m in a happy place! Go fuck yourselves! Who was there for me when i cried myself to sleep at night?!? Sure as fuck not any type of man! So once again GO FUCK URSELF!
Despite the fact that this class is very boring, and on a friday..i think im going to keep an open mind, because this may very well help me along to get my AA in child development and then transfer. So with that being said…im going to stay optimistic =D. But It doesnt mean im going to like sitting here listening to her babble on and on. Hence the reason why i have a laptop with me so i can sit here and tumble and facebook at the sametime.
its been a very long time since i have had so much drama in my life. i feel like i need to remove myself from the situation at hand. im going to take a breather and hopefully spend sometime with family and get my priorities in check. But mainly i cant help but feel its my fault everytmie something like this happens and i become extremly sad. so i need to take a breather and bring myself to a healthy state of mind.
But mainly i feel like i cant trust many people even when they are good friends. mostly because of my past, and i know i should forget the past and move on… but i cant ignore the signs. i just dont know what to do anymore i feel like im always being watched, and im always being judged and to behonest i really wish i could fall asleep and not wake up. im tired of crying and im tired of walking on egg shells.
</3 lost and confused i dont know what to do anymore. this interpersonal communications class bs just isnt cutting it anymore.